I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize