maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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