yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
