Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
youre lurking in front of me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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