Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm too high and old for this...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
