Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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