somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
