Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
