Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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