the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
