I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we're making bets on your personal life
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
