i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
