Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
