people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
