is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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