there's paper in my vomit.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize