she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
