Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
