Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
