I love black thongs
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
