everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
