It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
its liver damage thursday
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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