thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
