and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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