Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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