Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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