do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize