Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
