She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
