I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
