God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
