I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
