there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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