Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize