My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
