i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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