i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
