Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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