I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
