bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
