the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
