Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
