your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
