He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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