Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
