I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
