oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
