so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
