I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
