She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
