you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize