When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
