I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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