Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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