"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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