It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
