we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your penis caused this!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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