Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
