I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
