So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
