I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
